Dreams

I had a dream that I had a pink baby elephant as a pet. She was about the size of Joon (maybe a little bit bigger) and she was bright pink. Her ears were about 3/4 the size of her body and when I rubbed her belly while she was sleeping she would roll onto her back and smile her little elephant dream smile. I can't even begin to describe how adorable she was.

Why can't dreams be real??

Hypochondriac

I cracked my back last night and it felt Amazing! However, as I was moving my body back into an upright position, I felt something warm seeping from my nose. I freaked out. Not like screaming and crying or playing death metal while I slowly pull out every strand of my hair. I freaked out to the point that I was momentarily paralyzed. I was absolutely positive that it was not only blood coming out of my right nostril, but also trace amounts of spinal fluid. I was pretty sure that by indulging in my guilty pleasure of cracking my back, I had inadvertently decreased my life span by a significant amount of time.

I wanted to know if the liquid in question was indeed blood so I could confront my inevitable death once and for all, but I couldn't bring myself to touch my face. For what felt like a lifetime, I stood next to my bed unwilling to move. Until finally, I moved my hand shakily to my face as I quietly sobbed. This was it. The moment that I found out I had 20 seconds to live. I slowly touched the tip of my finger to my upper lip and gazed at what lay on my finger.

It was snot. Apparently I'm getting a cold. Annoying? Yes. But not life-threatening.

Fah Who For-aze

I have a dream. Not a spectacular one that will change the world. Just a dream. I desperately want to be in a room full of people that suddenly join hands and start singing the "Welcome Christmas" song from the end of the "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". If this happens, I will cry.

Fah Who For-aze, Dah who dor-aze Welcome Christmas. Come this way... And no, I don't have the lyrics memorized. That would just be insane...

Wolverine

I had the strangest feeling today as I walked outside and smelled the beginning of Spring. (And yes, when I smell things I often like to act like I am Wolverine sensing something extremely important. If someone ever saw me do it I would be so embarrassed.) As I smelled Spring I had this feeling that I had never experienced anything but winter. Like, my whole life I had been living in this eternal winter and hadn't realized it until that moment. I really felt like I was experiencing Spring for the first time. It was so astonishingly marvelous.

Almonds

If I enjoy eating almonds because the sound they make when they squeak against my teeth sounds like tiny screams, is that a bad thing? Same with almost stale popcorn. It makes me giggle.... I am a horrible person.

Texting

Texting. Guhhggghhuuh. At first it was so amazing! Ok, strike that. At first I would get in trouble for texting one person a message like, "Omg! I am texting you!!" and then my mom would call me and say, "Michelle! I told you not to text me! It costs 15 cents every time you do it." But after a couple of years, almost every person had a texting package and I could text guilt free.

But now. Grrrrr. Now. I am so sick of people texting someone when we are having a conversation. What can be so important that they have to text them back right away? Unless the person texting them is saying, "I'm choking Plz come quickly to give me the Heimlich maneuver ." In which case they can reply with, "I'll be right there". Actually, they probably shouldn't reply. They should skip that part and actually be right there. Plus, most people I'm talking about aren't just interrupting the conversation with one text. They are actually having an entire other conversation with someone. It's so unbelievably rude. Please stop. Or should I say, "Plz stop."