Hypochondriac

I cracked my back last night and it felt Amazing! However, as I was moving my body back into an upright position, I felt something warm seeping from my nose. I freaked out. Not like screaming and crying or playing death metal while I slowly pull out every strand of my hair. I freaked out to the point that I was momentarily paralyzed. I was absolutely positive that it was not only blood coming out of my right nostril, but also trace amounts of spinal fluid. I was pretty sure that by indulging in my guilty pleasure of cracking my back, I had inadvertently decreased my life span by a significant amount of time.

I wanted to know if the liquid in question was indeed blood so I could confront my inevitable death once and for all, but I couldn't bring myself to touch my face. For what felt like a lifetime, I stood next to my bed unwilling to move. Until finally, I moved my hand shakily to my face as I quietly sobbed. This was it. The moment that I found out I had 20 seconds to live. I slowly touched the tip of my finger to my upper lip and gazed at what lay on my finger.

It was snot. Apparently I'm getting a cold. Annoying? Yes. But not life-threatening.